Intimate Partner Violence

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE

Relationship violence can take many forms and may occur once or happen repeatedly over time. While dynamics vary, it often involves one partner consistently harming, controlling, or intimidating the other.

Intimate partner violence (IPV) refers to behavior within an intimate relationship that causes physical, sexual or psychological harm. This includes violence by both current and former spouses and partners.

Forms of Harm in Intimate Partner Relationships

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse involves any intentional use of force that causes pain, injury, or fear. It’s one of the more visible forms of intimate partner violence, but it’s often part of a larger pattern of control.

Examples include:

• Blocking doors/exits

• Holding or restraining

• Grabbing

• Denying physical needs

• Forcing drug/alcohol use

• Threatening to use/using weapons

• Pushing

• Scratching

• Slapping

• Hitting

• Plucking

• Punching

• Kicking

• Strangulation/"Choking"

• Burning

• Throwing objects

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical harm. It includes behaviors that degrade, manipulate, or control a partner through fear, guilt, or shame. Over time, emotional abuse can deeply impact a person’s sense of self-worth and mental well-being.

Examples include:

• Interrogation and extreme jealousy

• Swearing/screaming

• Denying/minimizing impact of abuse

• Spitting

• Destroying property

• Monitoring

• Forced participation in demeaning behaviors

(begging, kneeling, etc.)

• Name calling or insulting the victim, their family, or

their beliefs/ideas

• Ignoring/disparaging feelings

• Gaslighting/brainwashing

• Using loved ones to manipulate behavior

• Blaming

• Rejecting

• Threatening to injure/injuring pets

• Blackmailing and/or exploiting disabilities

• Threatening legal action

• Threatening homicide or suicide

• Silent treatment/stonewalling

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse in a relationship involves any unwanted sexual activity or coercion, including acts done without full, informed, and enthusiastic consent. It can occur even within committed relationships, and it is never the survivor’s fault. Consent is always necessary, every time.

Examples include:

• Sexual harassment

• Pressuring or using guilt to attain sex

• Masturbating in public

• Distributing or online posting of sexual content featuring partner ("revenge porn")

• Forcing or denying contraceptive use or abortion/sterilization

• Watching or recording sexual or private acts without knowledge or consent

• Sex trafficking

• Criticizing sexual performance

• Withholding sex as punishment

• Exposing genitals or nakedness without consent

• Forced exposure to pornography

• Insisting that partner have sex with other people (with or without compensation)

• Any sexual contact without consent (due to unwillingness or inability to consent)

Economic Abuse

Financial abuse happens when one partner controls or limits the other’s access to money or resources as a way to gain power. This form of abuse can keep someone dependent and make it harder to leave an unsafe situation. Everyone deserves the freedom to make choices about their own finances.

Examples include:

• Controlling financial decision making

• Refusing to pay bills

• Excessive spending of shared funds

• Monitoring spending (i.e. tracking purchases, issuing strict allowance)

• Denying access to financial accounts

• Refusing to work/contribute to household

• Barring victim from working

• Interfering with victim's work/place of employment

• Excluding victim's name from deeds/titles

What is economic abuse?

Economic abuse includes any behavior that harms a person's financial stability.

Examples include:

• Denying access to financial accounts

• Controlling financial decision making

• Refusing to pay bills

• Excessive spending of shared funds

• Monitoring spending (i.e. tracking purchases, issuing strict allowance)

Additional Types of IPV

Abuse doesn’t always look the way people expect—it can take many forms that are subtle, overlooked, or harder to recognize, but are still deeply harmful. Understanding these less visible types of abuse is just as important.

Examples include:

• Social isolation

• Stalking

• Harassment

• Using gender stereotypes/myths

• Degrading family, culture, or religion

• Justifying abuse with culture or religion

• Forcing participation in behaviors contrary to religious beliefs

• Public humiliation

• Distributing private materials (e.g. journal entries)

• Taking car keys, cell phone, money, etc.

• Sabotaging vehicle

• Denying access to work, education, or health care

• Destroying property

woman in white shirt lying on blue floor

Steps Toward Safety

If you’re experiencing abuse or preparing to leave an unsafe relationship, creating a personalized safety plan can be a powerful step toward protecting yourself and those you care about. A safety plan can help you think through your options, stay prepared, and reduce risk during uncertain moments.

You don’t have to do it alone—support is available, and you deserve to feel safe, empowered, and surrounded by people who care.

If You're Living with the Abuser

Safety strategies to help reduce harm while remaining in the home.

• Is there a phone accessible at all times?

* All cell phones have the built-in capacity to dial 911, even in the event that the phone is disconnected from a cell phone carrier. If your partner is denying access to safe, unmonitored, or reliable phone, CAP can help! Contact us for more information!

• Where are the exits in the home?

• Are there any weapons in the home? If so, what are they? Can you secure or get rid of them?

• Are there any other potential threats or dangers in the home? Consider items that could be repurposed as weapons, rooms that are difficult to exit, etc.

• What are the safest rooms in the home? Which rooms can you quickly exit?

• Could you improve the safety of certain rooms? How so?

• In the event of a potentially violent dispute, where will you go? How will you get there?

• What are your partner's cues that signal an increased risk of a violent dispute?

• Have you talked to your child(ren) about staying safe during a violent dispute? If not, how could you bring it up?

• Do your children have a specific safety plan? How will they know when to use it?

• Who would be a helpful part of your and your children's safety plan? Can you talk to them in advance about their role in the plan?

If You’re Planning to Leave

Steps to prepare for leaving as safely and privately as possible.

• Are you employed, or do you have a personal source of income?

• Do you have a joint account? If yes, can you transfer your assets?

• Do you have a personal account that your partner is unable to access?

• Who could you stay with should you decide to leave?

• If you decided to leave, do you have easy access to transportation? How could you improve your

transportation access?

• Do you have documentation of past injuries or text/email threats? Where do you keep this documentation?

• Do you have a pet? If yes, what are your plans for the pet if/when you leave?

* The Tri-County Animal Shelter can care for your pets while you exit a dangerous situation! Contact the shelter at 301-932-1713 or 800-903-1992.

• What personal items would you want to take with you? Which of your children's items would you want to take?

• Can you make a "go bag" to keep in your car, at work, or with a trusted person?

• Would you benefit from a disposable cell phone or a safety deposit box?

• Do you have easy access to the following items?

- Birth certificates for self and children - Social security card - Documentation of abuse - Checkbook, debit/credit cards - Marriage license - Driver's license and registration - Keys to home and car - Lease/rental agreements - Health, home, and car insurance cards - Copy of protective order - Passport - Prescription medications - Cash, if connected through joint account - Divorce and other legal papers - Car title - I-94, work permits, and/or Green Cards - Bills/mortgage statements

If You’re Leaving or Have Just Left

Staying safe and supported during the transition and after leaving an abusive relationship.

• Are there windows of time when your partner is not home or when you could exit the home without arousing suspicion (e.g. when running errands)?

• Will your children be home when you decide to leave? If not, what is the plan for picking them up from school, daycare, or another location?

• Do you need to inform anyone at your intended destination that you are leaving?

• Who else do you need to tell about your decision to leave?

• Do you have easy access to the items listed in the previous section?

• Have I changed passwords, PINs, and location-sharing settings on my devices?

• Do I need legal help with custody, protective orders, or restraining orders?

• Have I connected with a local domestic violence advocate or shelter for long-term support?

• Have I saved or memorized emergency numbers or addresses?

• Can I create a routine that avoids places where the abuser might find me?

Moving Forward After Leaving

Safety tips for beginning a new chapter.

• Get a protective order

* Consider prohibiting contact or restricting it to one method (e.g. only by email)

• Change your phone number or purchase a disposable cell phone.

• Open a personal bank account.

• Obtain a post office box.

• Develop a check-in plan with a trusted person and detail when and how often you will contact them.

• Leave your workplace and walk to your car or bus/metro station with a "buddy".

• Change your route to work.

• Change your work schedule.

• Shop at different stores or at different times than you typically would.

• Inform you work supervisor, work/home security personnel, and children's school of the situation, especially if you have a protective order.

• Create a list of approved individuals with whom your children may leave school and events and share this list with administrators, teachers, coaches, scout leaders, etc.

• If you need to contact your partner, make sure that another person is present to overhear the call.

Remember, if your partner is the one to leave, their exit does not mean that they won't try to come back. In their absence, arrange to do the following:

• Keep doors and windows locked at all times.

• Remove any spare keys or garage openers from hidden locations.

• Change the locks* on all doors leading outside including garage locks and/or entry codes.

• Install a security system and motion sensor outdoor lights.

• Remove or secure all weapons.

• Obtain a protective order that prevents your partner's return.

• Contact police to arrange for drive-by check-ins.

• If your partner is away due to incarceration, register for Maryland's Victim Information and Notification Everyday (VINE) program.

* The Criminal Injuries Compensation Board may be able to reimburse you for the costs associated with staying safe following a crime. To learn more, visit their website by clicking here.